Part 11: The loss
Awww’. That was so sweet.. Kushi moaned as she saw a scene in the tv.. where the hero was holding his heroin by her waist and they were lost looking into each other’..
What the.. Arnav whispered as he looked at the scene’. It was so stupid’ wat was there in him holding her by a waist.. no one got lost like this’ but he dint dare to say anything’ as he knew Kushi would kill him.. she loved this show so much’ to mushy for him though.. but still he bore it for her’ only for her’
Raba vee’.. she sang along with the tv’ and Arnav felt like banging his head on the wall.. he still couldn’t understand all this stuff’. But the shine and glitter in his Pari’s face was worth all the crap..
For the next 15 mins.. he saw million emotions playing on her face.. one time she was happy, next she was blushing.. then came tears.. then anger.. and at last she was satisfied’ hmmm.. she sang as she switched off the tv’. Arnav thanked his gods for this’
Guddu.. this is such a nice show.. par bauji hume dekhne nahi dete’ pata nahi kyu?? She pouted as she folded her legs and sat on the couch in Arnav’s room’..(this is such a nice show… but dono why father doesnt let me see this)
I know. He muttered under his breath.. but kept silent..praying that she shd’nt have listened to it’.
Ok ab challo.. we should eat’..saying she got up and Arnav followed her to the dining..
Agaya’ kamina’ muttered Kamya as she saw the kids holding hands and getting down’
Stray dogs shd be kept outside the house.. but here.. they not only bought it inside but they are decorating it also.. cursed Kamya as she tore the roti eating it’ Dev shook his head listening to all this.. luckily no one else could hear what she was saying..
Ajao bete’ Shashi called’. And the family had their dinner happily’
Aap mujhe undher jane kyu nahi de rahe ho??? Complained Arnav as he tried to get into Kushi’s room'(why arent you letting me go inside?)
Tum nahi ja sakte’ saying Kamya shoved him off that place’. Arnav banged the door'(you cant go inside)
Kolo na Pari.. he shouted'(open the door Pari)
Nahi.. tum jao’ Kushi said..(no…you leave)
Teek hai.. saying Arnav left’.. and Kushi sulked back on her bed’ her stomach was paining .. and she felt lonely.. as she was not allowed to leave her room for the next 3 days’ she felt really bad for this.. but then what could she do.. her father had told her she couldn’t run and jump like before.. at least for these days’
Pari.. are you angry with me.. came the voice of Arnav’Kushi was shocked and turned around to see Arnav standing there.. he had climbed the pipes and entered her room’
Guddu?? She called as she rushed towards him’ and hugged him.. they have not met for 3 hours.. but for her it was like eternity’ Arnav too reciprocated the hug’. And smiled.. he felt the warmth coming back to him’ he felt contended’ whole..
Why dint you open the door’.?? Arnav’s hurtful voice reached her ears..
Oh ho’ Guddu.. tum na kuch samajthey nahi.. she said shaking her head.. as she left him and sat down on the bed’.(Guddu you no.. dont understand anything)
Kya samajhta nahi??? (what i dont understand?)
Wo.. I’m no more a girl’ I’m a woman now.. she said proudly raising her chin up…she repeated what her dai ma had told her’
Huh??? Arnav was cluless’.
I got that no.. she spoke in a hush hush voice..as though she was sharing a secret that no one knew abt…
Got what??? Arnav asked.. still lost’
Arrey buddhu’ that’ which big girls get.. she stressed on big girls’
Pimples’?? Arnav asked.. as he has seen girls of his class fuss over a non existing spot on their skin..
Huh?? No no.. p.. one.. she said.. looking expectedly into his eyes’
What P???? pls Pari’ just spit it out’ Arnav said.. controlling his irritation..
Areey Periods.. I talking abt that’
What???? Arnav was now embarrassed.. he had read abt that last year’ and knew what it was.. he looked everywhere’ he then got up’
Where are you going.. saying she pulled him.. but he lost his balance and fell on top of her’.. he balanced his weight on his hands.. but when he looked up.. everything else stopped’a bolt ran down his spine and then like a blast.. he felt his body breaking into goosebumps’ he felt something stir inside him.. a nameless feeling’ he just kept looking into those hazels’ and was lost.. he kept on staring’. Into her eyes’ he dint want to kiss her or anything.. but the attractions, the pull those eyes made him feel was completely above all’ All he wanted to do was stare into those eyes.. and be lost in them for ever’
Loud voices from outside broke their innocent stare’ and Arnav quickly got up from her.. thought Kushi did feel something.. but she was too young to understand’ so she came out of that feeling quickly than him..
Arnav.. pls come and visit me.. I’ll be in this room for the next 3 days’ she wined.. as he walked towards the balcony’
Ok.. I’ll come regularly.. don’t worry.. saying he effortlessly jumped from the balcony, held the sun shade and then jumped holding the pipes and slid down.. he waved his hand and ran inside the house.. as Kushi stood there.. looking at his stunt in an amazed way’.
Arnav, though went inside, dint forget what he felt’ it was the first time.. why now.. what was it??? He wondered’. He then saw the time and left for school’
Being a very popular boy, he had always got good attentions’ he even knew of the appreciative looks that the girls of his class gave him.. but all this was just worthless for him.. sometimes, he never even looked at them.. this girl Sheetal was always behind him.. but she too stayed away when his Pari was with him.. he smiled as he remembered what happened last time’
Today’ he was bored.. the class was good.. but lunch was boring.. he missed her’. For the last few years, they both would eat lunch together.. but today, he was stuck with Rohan.. a mindless guy.. who was suffering from puberty’ God.. Arnav thought as he heard Rohan’
Man.. just look at her’. Wow.. what melons man.. he whispered’ Arnav rolled his eyes.. he was not bothered’on the contrary he found his talks quiet amusing
Hey Arnie.. Rohan shook Arnav..
Come to my house today.. Rohan spoke in a really low voice..
Why??? What is it???
I have smuggled one blue CD from my brother’s room.. lets watch it.. he nudged Arnav will a smirk..
What?? What the hell man’ Arnav freaked’. He couldn’t believe this boy had so much in him to do all this..
Come one yaar.. this would be fun’ want to see what lies beneath’ Rohan said.. raising his eye brows’.
Unbelievable’. Arnav muttered.. as he turned around trying to ignore this guy’
The school when on.. and every minute was a suffering for Arnav’ he so wanted to go back home to her’ and ask her how she was.. he remembered her pale face.. he just wished the class would end and he would rush back to her’ he looked longingly towards the clock.. hoping it would run faster’.
Kushi.. lay on her bed turning and twisting.. her stomach cramps were really bad.. she pressed her stomach.. trying to get a suitable position’ she felt irritated.. and completely out of mood.. she felt like yelling and hitting some one.. one time she was all hot and next time.. she felt cold.. she was restless.. and felt alone once again.. she wanted him here.. she wanted to talk to him.. laugh.. play and sleep.. only with him.. she got up and drank another glass of water, praying that the pain would leave her’.
Hey.. Pari.. jaldi.. pakado.. Arnav said.. holding something as he just jumped in’
Kya hua??? Why are you so pale’??? He asked her as he saw her pained face..
It is paining too much Guddu.. she said as she held her stomach’
Humm.. he said.. and sat next to her’ but she suddenly pulled his hand and placed it on her stomach..
Yahan pe’ she said, without any inhibitions'(in here)
But Arnav felt it again’ that shiver.. he removed his hand immediately as thought it burnt him’
Kya hua?? She asked innocently..(what happened)
Wo.. han.. take this.. saying he took the bag.. and gave her her kulfi’
Humare liye?? She squealed in excitement.. as she got up forgetting her pain’ she devoured the kulfi as Arnav happily saw her’ his heart filled with happiness seeing his Pari happy’ he then saw her all over’ this was the first time, he paid attention to how she looked.. she was really a cute girl.. her red lips.. her brown black hair.. those eyes.. he loved her eyes.. those hazels were capable of holding him..and how could he forget that cute button nose.. that was red now..
He smiled seeing her’. The mere sight of this girl was enough to make him happy.. she was his Pari’ his eyes roamed around her face.. taking in every detail as thought it was the last.. but then as he came down, he stopped’ at her chest’
He remembered Rohan’s words’ but Pari’s were not like that’ thought there was a small bulge.. but that is all.. but then remembering again.. his pari had changed in these years’ she had grown taller.. but apart from that’. her body did change’ he averted his eyes.. as he suddenly felt guilty.. he thought what he was doing was wrong’ he needed to leave this place’
Ok Pari.. I’m leaving.. I have so much of homework’. He said in a hurry and left not even
listening to her..
As he entered his room, he locked the door and jumped on the bed’ he looked up the ceiling.. what was that I feel for her?? He wondered’ why has it arrived only now??? He dint know.. he closed his eyes’ he remembered her smile’ the way her eyes would glitter when she was excited’ the way she would jump and her curls would fall on her face’ the way her anklets would sound as she ran’ her smell’. Her twinkling laughter.. her anger.. her cute pout’ the innocent sleep’ the way she yawned in the morning.. the way she rubbed her eyes when she was sleepy’ he turned and twisted.. but these memories dint leave him.. but later he just stopped struggling, as he drowned in them’.
It was nearly a month but still Dev and Kamya didn’t know where all this was going’ the minute Dev had told him abt Kushi’s growing up.. something had happened’.. he had asked to wait.. but they couldn’t.. Pari was already 11 years’ and that boy was 15.. if they waited then soon that boy would be 18 and would get half the share of the properly.. and after some time, even Kushi’s share will be his, thus they will be on the road’
Hello??? Dev asked annoyed.. as he dint know who it was at this time of the night’.
Ok done.. this shall be arrainged’ Dev smirked’as he cut the call’
Kamya.. get up..he shook the woman beside him..
Sone do na’ we just did it now’ she wined.. as she pulled the spread trying to sleep again’
Shut up woman’ just get up’ he pushed her’ and Kamya got up.. cribbing’
Guess who just called’ he wriggled his eyebrows’
Kamya’s eyes grew wide’Really???? She cried out..
Yes.. and all is set’ tomorrow is showdown’ he said’ as he smirked’
Kamya hugged him excitedly’.
So’ he drew’
Shall we??? He asked her as he kissed her bare shoulders’
Neki aur puch puch.. she said giggling as he pushed her on the bed and climbed on her’ doing their thing’
The next morning was a the start of dooms day for the family’. Shashi was all ready to go to office’ Amar was going to get vegetables’
Arrey Amar.. why are you going’ cant you send someone else??? Questions Shashi as he wore his socks’
Nahi Malik’ apne ghar ka kam karne me kya taklef’he said with a smile.. as he took the bag..(no master… there is no problem doing our own house’s work)
Tum nahi sudheroge.. accha.. take me car.. I’ll go in another one’ end of discussion.. saying Shashi took his bag and left’ Amar shook his head’ Mallik bhi na’ he smiled as he took his bag and entered the car’
Arnav was in his class.. it was 11 in the morning’ and he was listening to the teacher, when an announcement came in’ Arnav and Kushi were called into the principal’s office’ and both of them went’ the kids were in for a shock of their lives’ Shashi came to the school and took the kids away’ they reached home and were shocked’ a body was there.. and was covered with a white cloth.. Arnav didn’t know how to react’ he kept looking at it.. he was afraid’ he dint want it to be him’
Beta’ I’m sorry’Shashi said as he held his should’. Arnav slowly moved towards the body.. he sat down..he pulled the cloth and was numbed seeing his father lying lifeless there’ he covered his face’
Take bath.. Shashi said.. as he led Arnav to the room..
After 4 hours.. and after all the rituals’ Arnav stood in his room’ lost in his thoughts.. he dint understand.. the shock was too sudden.. he dint remember his mother.. but he did love his father.. way too much’ he remembered the times he had spent with him.. he silently cried.. he wanted to hug his warm father’ and tell him how much he loved him’. He missed him.. and would be lost without him’ why did his father have to go in a car’??? He never used the car for buying vegetables.. then why today?? He thought, cursing God for making him an orphan’ why dint he help his father.. if he was here, then things would have been different’ he could have stopped it.. Why??? He felt like there were many Whys but no answers’ he looked at the sky.. Why God.. why are you punishing me.. first my mother, then now you have taken my father also??? Why do you hate me so much’ bauji prays to you regularly.. then why did you snatch him away??? Are you even there.. is there someone there?? Or is God a pigment of imagination.. all your incarnations stories for the bored.. your miracles.. luck of that particular person??? He cried out’
Answer me.. are you even there??? He cried out loud’
If so.. please give my dad back’ pls’ he cried’. kneeling down’ tears wetting his cheeks’
I’m very lonely without him.. pls.. he murmured’
He then heard a small knock’and then saw a shadow under the door.. he decided to see who it was.. and opened the door and came out.. He saw a shadow going into Dev and Kamya room, he followed it.. but as he neared it.. he stopped hearing voices’
Dev.. I feel so sorry for Guddu.. cried Kamya.. bichara baccha’ she sniffed’
Hmm.. I too feel so Kamya.. but what can we do’
Yes..if only Bhai dint force Amar to use his car.. then today Amar would have been alive’Dev agreed to her..
I don’t understand, why Bhai did this.. he knew the car was not working alright’ then too he sent Amar’ complained Kamya’
Arnav stood there listening.. his hurt and grief filled teenage mind’ dint understand the game these adults were playing’ he for the first time felt anger on the Gupta family.. he found it easy to blame Shashi Gupta for his state’ he marched towards his room.. he dint know what to do in his anger.. he had forgotten everything of the past.. all he remembered was the dead face of his father.. and the words of Kamya ringing in his mind’